by: David Darmanin
If you’re into boating too, you’ll probably know what a gunwale is. Handling ropes on a barge shouldn’t be dangerous, but gunwales make it so. A 10cm-wide slippery and slopey steel ledge is meant to be your only stepping ground while manoeuvring these 15-ton beasts through the locks. Every other boat-dweller I know, even the deftest and with the whitest of beards, has at some point (or regularly) taken a plunge into the canal. But I haven’t. I’m particularly proud of this unlikely fact, especially seeing that my clumsiness is of international repute. When the fall happens, because it will, the humiliation is sure to crush me before hypothermia, or Legionnaires.
Similarly, I had never missed a flight before yesterday. And I’m really someone who would have. I’ve turned up at check-in desks half an hour after ETD to learn that flights were delayed and I’d make it anyway.